To the Mom Struggling with Chronic Illness {India Werner}

To the mom struggling with chronic illness:

              You wake up every day hoping it is a good day.  You see the tasks to be done and your inward and mental energy soars with ambition.  Sometimes you breeze through your to-do list and end the day with sweet satisfaction.  The list is checked off and you can rest knowing that you did your best for your kids that day.

              Then there are the not-so-great days.  You have plans laid out.  You have every intention of getting right to them, but your body just won’t cooperate.  Before you know it, you’re spiraling down the familiar pit.  Your high expectations for fulfilling your role as a mom have faded.  You accept the reality that today will be one of those dysfunctional, unproductive, sort of depressing days.

              Guilt hits you as other people take care of your kids and responsibilities.  I should be taking care of themI don’t want people to think I’m just being lazy or faking it.  I’m inconveniencing everyone’s lives.

              Questions haunt you.  Why would God give me these children when I can’t even care for them sufficiently?  What if my life is like this forever? 

              I know what your mind does to you because my mind does it, too.  There are few things worse than lying in a hospital bed or on any bed of illness, even at home, when you have small children who need you.  You have way too much time to think and that is not usually a good thing.

              If you are reading this and relating to what I say, please stay with me.  I wish I had a fix-all for these struggles, but I do not.  Rather, I can tell you what I do on the hard days.

              I speak truth to myself.  I believe that the Bible is true, and I am blessed to have a relationship with my Maker.  He has provided so much goodness for us in His Word!  Search the Scriptures.  Earnestly seek comfort in the Bible.  God will give you what you need for each moment.  We may feel that God is silent because we don’t have all the answers.  Perhaps God isn’t giving you a clear answer yet, but He WILL give you peace and grace when you need it.  My God is not silent when my Bible is open.

              I say “NO” to self-pity.  It is easy to drown ourselves in negativity.  Don’t let it happen to you!  You won’t be a nice person to be around.  Trust me.

              I focus on God’s plan for today.  What I mean by that is: take life one day at a time.  He made you to be you for a reason!  He made you to be the mother of those children for His plan and purpose.  At this present time, you might be sick, but how can you be a blessing to your kids despite that? 

Use the down time wisely.  Pray for your children’s physical, emotional, and spiritual protection.  Pray for their future spouses.  Read your Bible and books that will enrich you spiritually or increase your Biblical knowledge.  Compile recipes and meal plans on Pinterest that you can make for your family when you are better.  Write emails to friends who you haven’t corresponded with in a while.

Watching an occasional movie or reading a fun novel here and there during my illness is great, but my personal limit is small.  Despite what we think, binge-watching seasons of shows in order to take our mind off our present situation isn’t the most helpful thing.  Those are hours of your life that you will never have back.  Consider that maybe God gave you some quiet time to become the mom He wants you to be.

Okay, at the same time, I have to say that sometimes I get carried away and waste time when I’m sick.  You really must be intentional to do valuable things when you’re in the hospital or whatever your situation is.  I am trying.  When the puking has stopped and the pain is manageable, I try to pick my Bible up.  You know what?  The harder I try to be intentional with my time, the more I sense that I have fulfilled God’s plan for me for that day.

Scripture to read: Psalm 77, Philippians 4:8

              There might be more from me on this subject as my journey continues and as God reveals new truths to me.  As time allows, I would even like to share my entire health story because I’ve had many people ask for this.  Right now I am not sure if this should be in blog form or book form, though.  What do you think?  Your feedback is always appreciated.  Until next time, have a blessed day!

Comments · 11

  1. Wow! What great perspective! You always amaze me (even from afar) with your intentionality in serving Christ…your children are greatly blessed for it. You are doing soooo much more for them than the average healthy mom who isn’t devoted to her children’s or her own spiritual welfare.

    I would LOVE to read your entire story via book form some day ❤️

  2. I think that a book form would be wonderful choice. Something that maybe someone can bring to the friend or relative in need.Especially when we are not sure what to say, or when what we say isn’t receptive because simply we have not been those trenches fighting that specific battle. That book could minister to them in a way we truly can’t and maybe they are just a little bitter at the Lord for their situation and may help lead them back toward the Lord. We are praying for you and your family.

  3. Good afternoon India:
    Well when I got diagnosed with my immune illness. You were an inspiration.
    When I was in so much pain for so many months, and doctors had no clue what was going on with me, my brain started playing games with me.
    I was frustrated and so overwhelmed by it.
    I love the presence of the Holy Spirit, that reminds me to focus on the Lord. Was gracious and compassionate with me Deuteronomy 31:6.
    At what point I had to ask for the Lord not to allow me to focus on my self, but that I understood that He had allowed something in my life that I didn’t expected, so I wanted to learn of his goodness and I surrendered all my worries at that point. I told him to give me the wisdom to worship him and praise him stronger than my pain. Finally I have found Doctors that know how to deal with my situation. I’m in better shape.
    I know what you have gone through and I imagine how difficult it is for you.
    You are not only a mom, you are a wife and have and amazing ministry together with your husband. That takes a lot of energy.
    Thank you for your beautiful testimony, that has given me strength and encouragement during my dark moments. I always think of you when I’m down and you lift me up.
    I think you should write the book, it would be of a great encouragement for many.
    May the Lord give you the strength you need and wisdom on a daily basis.
    Send you my love and respect.
    Joshua 1:9

  4. This is so beautiful my dear. I’m so sorry you are having rough days. You have gone through so much, and have always remained and awesome mom and wife. If I could take the pain away and take your place I would do it in a heartbeat. I pray they can figure out what is causing you to be sick and God will provide His healing touch. Love and Hugs. Aunt Kelly.

  5. This is a great story and learning opportunity. I don’t have children at home any more, but I do take care of my mom. My bad days affect her also because she hates it when I’m miserable. Some days things seem to overwhelming. Other days I breeze through and wonder why I couldn’t do this last week.
    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Sorry to hear of your struggles! Chronic illness is hard to deal with no matter what stage of life you are in! <3 - India

  6. From just this blog post,I can see you have a gift for writing. You should totally write a book or 2 or3…. Also,I don’t know what illness you’re dealing with right now but I guarantee there’s a NATURAL DOCTOR that can help tremendously with it, if not reverse it altogether. Just do your research and you’ll see a whole new world of healing. Plus you can give Joette Calabrese a call, she’s a very good homepath. But all in all we know that God is the ultimate healer.

    1. Thank you for the comment! I have seen several natural doctors in the past and done a lot of reading. Unfortunately for what I am struggling with at the moment (intestinal obstructions), there is not much they could do for me. I continue to seek wisdom and do research as the Lord directs. And you are right, HE IS the ultimate Healer! – India

Leave a Reply