You’ve been on my heart lately. I guess with my dad’s recent death, I’ve thought about you more than ever before. I’ve been thinking about how it is for my mom right now…and what so many of you might be feeling, too.
Years ago on your wedding day, you never thought about what you would do in life’s chapter of widowhood. All you knew was that your husband’s life was now yours. This many years later, you find yourself in a chapter of life that you never gave much thought to – I mean, who would really want to?
The pressure hit after your husband died – pressure you did not even anticipate. “What are you going to do now?” For some reason, everyone thinks it is their business to press you for the answer to this question mere days after your husband’s death. While having a plan will be on your mind someday, it’s not on your mind today. You might even think, “What is wrong with me? I don’t seem to know what to do with myself like all the other widows do.”
I’ve noticed that not many people do this to widowers. Now, bear with me…I don’t want any of us to be bitter. But, after my dad died, it dawned on me that if the tables were turned, no one would have been asking him what he is going to do now — because his life’s plan would not have changed. Men can keep right on going with their life (albeit missing the hugest part) and nobody questions them. It is different for men because very rarely did they give up their own life to marry you. But, for some reason, with ladies, the expectations are different. Widows are immediately faced with the challenges of “what should I do? How do I start over? Who am I now that I’m not his wife?”
Maybe that is why God mentions widows so many times in His Word. He has a special place in His heart for you…and by His example, I think we all should, too. I hope that just reading this will encourage your heart today. I hope it will remind you that someone does see you, someone does think about where you are in life, someone does care how you feel. I don’t pretend to know what you’re going through or how you’re feeling…but I’ve been asking God to touch those places of your heart that perhaps only He sees.
Perhaps someone will read this that is not a widow. I hope those of us who aren’t widows will remember those who are – that we will pray, and then that we will make the effort to be there for those ladies who feel so alone.
I am praying for you, widows everywhere!
With the love of Christ,
“Pure religion and undefiled before God the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27