Dear Widows, {Lois Ormsby}

Dear Widows,

You’ve been on my heart lately.  I guess with my dad’s recent death, I’ve thought about you more than ever before.  I’ve been thinking about how it is for my mom right now…and what so many of you might be feeling, too.

Years ago on your wedding day, you never thought about what you would do in life’s chapter of widowhood.  All you knew was that your husband’s life was now yours.  This many years later, you find yourself in a chapter of life that you never gave much thought to – I mean, who would really want to?

The pressure hit after your husband died – pressure you did not even anticipate.  “What are you going to do now?”  For some reason, everyone thinks it is their business to press you for the answer to this question mere days after your husband’s death.  While having a plan will be on your mind someday, it’s not on your mind today.  You might even think, “What is wrong with me?  I don’t seem to know what to do with myself like all the other widows do.”

I’ve noticed that not many people do this to widowers.  Now, bear with me…I don’t want any of us to be bitter.  But, after my dad died, it dawned on me that if the tables were turned, no one would have been asking him what he is going to do now — because his life’s plan would not have changed.  Men can keep right on going with their life (albeit missing the hugest part) and nobody questions them.  It is different for men because very rarely did they give up their own life to marry you.  But, for some reason, with ladies, the expectations are different.  Widows are immediately faced with the challenges of “what should I do?  How do I start over?  Who am I now that I’m not his wife?”

Maybe that is why God mentions widows so many times in His Word.  He has a special place in His heart for you…and by His example, I think we all should, too.  I hope that just reading this will encourage your heart today.  I hope it will remind you that someone does see you, someone does think about where you are in life, someone does care how you feel.  I don’t pretend to know what you’re going through or how you’re feeling…but I’ve been asking God to touch those places of your heart that perhaps only He sees.

Perhaps someone will read this that is not a widow.  I hope those of us who aren’t widows will remember those who are – that we will pray, and then that we will make the effort to be there for those ladies who feel so alone.

I am praying for you, widows everywhere!

With the love of Christ,

Lois Ormsby

“Pure religion and undefiled before God the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27

Comments · 7

  1. Dear Miss Lois, You are wise beyond your years and what you have written is so true! I have many friends who are now widows and my heart aches for them. I see their struggles and have and still am praying for all of them. Your sweet Momma is often on my mind and heart. God bless you and the widows. Love, Debbie Studt.

  2. Thank you Lois for the tender heart of prayer. As my own Beloved’s anniversary with the Lord swiftly approaches this month (16 years) I am thankful for the 30 years I was blessed with. The Lord gave us two faithful children and Bonus ‘kids’ aka In-laws with two grandchildren to walk this life with as long as He allows! David’s Psalm 56 rings true today for me as he even said in verse three..” What time I am afraid…I WILL trust in thee..”. Then later .’’….for this I know that God IS for me’.” I praise the Lord for His grace to walk even the difficult days with Him beside me. I am thankful to know God will not leave me and he will also guide your Mother with his loving hands through the darkest year, the first. Prayers of grace and comfort that only He can bring, so ‘we’ can truly live out Ps 56:3 with grace and His strength. “For Thou hast delivered my soul from death:wilt thou not deliver my feet from falling, the I MAY WALK before God in the light of the living?”

  3. Oh how precious are these thoughts and words today, sweet Lois.
    Our dear friend Dorothy Clanton is going through this very same thing. Losing our Brother Bobby Clanton not long after your dear Daddy’s passing.
    My prayer is that the Lord will continue to burden my heart as well for widows so I am reminded to lift them up daily to our Lord.

    God bless you sweet one!

    Mrs. Dawson.

  4. My dear Lois, But for the grace of God. I appreciated your thoughts, perhaps one or two that I have experienced but would not mention. (hahahaha) One of your strengths is empathy. you become more stronger and more gracious each year. With a mother’s love, YOURS

  5. Oh your words are so true. All I can say is that I take one day at a time and try not to plan too far in advance. Without the Lord I could not do this. However when we turn our lives to him he shows us what to do. Love you very much Lois

  6. Beautifully written, Lois. The “new days” for a widow can be confusing, at least. Sometimes the quiet time needed with the Lord is innocently missed because of all the decisions others feel the new widow must make. Praying your Mom never feels pressured, but knows the Love of the Peacemaker, the Comforter, and One of Infinite Patience.. She is blessed to have a daughter with such a tender heart.

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