Connecting with Your Spouse When Life Is Busy {India Werner}

          Today I want to share two simple things that help my husband and I stay connected through busy seasons of life.  Life gets crazy, and sometimes it is hard to stay on the same page with the people you live with, especially your spouse.  Figuring out what worked for us did not happen overnight, and we are still growing in it, but we can see the benefits of consistency.

We have read books that suggested that married couples should go on a date at least once a week.  While this sounds amazing and we would love to physically go out somewhere for quality time every week, we realize that this is not the season of life we are in.  We fit in dates outside our home as often as possible, but it is not every week and usually not every month.  Our children will not always be little, though, and some day we might be able to go on dates even more than once a week! 

What helps us stay connected?

1. That all being said, we have our own little date at home almost every day.  It is nothing fancy, and only takes a short time.  The time that works best for us is early in the morning.  After we have our personal quiet time with the Lord, we come together to read a devotional and pray for a few minutes before the kids are up and out of their room.  This has become my favorite part of the day.  It is the sweetest thing to spend time before the Lord as a husband and wife, and it helps us start the day right.  We often take a couple minutes at that point to discuss our plans for the day as well, over a cup of tea or coffee, of course.

Some mornings the kids interrupt, coming in to ask a question a.k.a. to see what we are up to.  Some mornings we accidentally sleep in and miss this time altogether.  Some mornings something totally random happens to throw off our routine.  Therefore, this time together takes intention and purpose.  If we miss it once or twice, it is life.  But when we fall out of the habit, we usually start falling out of sync with each other, too.

Doing something like this in the morning might not be practical for you because of your work schedules, sending kids off to school, or some other reason, but I would encourage you to find time in your day somewhere at some point to at least spend a few minutes in prayer with your spouse.  You will not regret it. 

2. Something else that has helped us connect is that we scarcely watch movies or TV shows.  I know, you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “That’s why they have four kids!”  Yes, we have heard all the comments.  But seriously, limiting our movie intake allows for a lot more meaningful conversations in the evenings. 

I hesitated to even mention this, because I do not want anyone to take this as a judgmental statement.  However, meaningless entertainment can easily rob our family of our best quality time if we allow it to.  I love a good movie, but in good measure. 

We have only been married for nine years and we will always be learning.  It has been a blessing to have many Godly examples of marriage to look to throughout these years.  The Holy Spirit is continually teaching us through His Word and helping us to weed out areas that need checked.  I pray that we continue to embrace the journey in the years to come.

Maybe you have a story of how God has grown your marriage.  I always love hearing these stories and would love to hear yours!  Feel free to comment below or send me an email at

Have a wonderful day! – India


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